There are those who will tell you that empathy is not business critical. They will struggle to understand its place within the workspace because it cannot be measured, charted, or tracked. Earlier in my career, I heard people say things like, “I work to make a living, not friends” or “I am only concerned about the bottom line.” I can vividly remember thinking how unfulfilling it must be to navigate the world that way.
Today, consumed by deadlines and deliverables, uncertainty, personal obligations and social pressures, people are operating in an ever-changing world with unanticipated challenges. They are going through the motions, failing to take moments to pause, breathe, live, be. They store the feelings away and ignore the warnings that come with self-suppression and minimal self-prioritization. They put their needs away in the back of their minds, compartmentalizing to their own detriment. They are operating on auto pilot, becoming numb, failing to process the impact of what life may bring each day. Now, more than ever, is the time to tap more into the human side of work and invest in one another.
Empathy, the ability to understand and respect the experience of another, is an intentional and necessary skill. It allows space for diversity of thought, diversity of perspective and a deeper reflective approach to daily interactions. Empathy creates the space for authenticity, appreciation, and alignment.
It is unimaginable the amount of stress some people carry just below the surface. They are working and living as the walking wounded, striving to remain productive and successful, but operating on physical and emotional fumes. When was the last time you checked in and took inventory of your own wellbeing? How often do you ask others?
I recently spoke with a friend who is working with a new team. Her first initiative in role was to meet with every member of the team to get to know more about them and what motivated them. She conducted multiple sessions over the course of several weeks, each lasting close to an hour. She made a conscious effort to invest time and energy into the human aspect of her business. Most of her team said that it was the first time a leader took the time to connect and most importantly, listen. Really listen. The things she learned about her team gave her invaluable insight into what the team valued, what motivated them to be successful, areas of improvement and how to best serve as their new leader.
Did you catch the most important word in that last sentence? If not, go back and read it again. She tapped into the foundation of leading, connecting and influencing others, service.
There are things about human interaction I know for sure. Among them is that people want to be seen, heard, and valued. When these core human needs go unaddressed, individuals suffer and therefore performance suffers. When performance suffers, culture suffers. When culture suffers, companies suffer. Motivation and morale decline. In contrast, when leaders create a culture of connection and communication, amazing things happen. People are more engaged, more innovative, more invested, and more inspired. This may seem like a revolutionary idea for some, but it is possible to be positive and profitable. Work can be intuitive, inclusive, and successful.
The balance seems complex, but there are simple practices that can disrupt counterproductive patterns and cultivate positive interactions. Here are some that I use often:
Take quiet moments in the day. It is not as difficult as you might expect. Before every meeting, both live and virtual, I conduct a mindful minute. We all pause in silence for one minute to take a deep breath, close our eyes, center ourselves and prepare to focus on the desired outcomes of the meeting. It felt odd initially, but it is now part of our team culture and other teams are now adopting the practice as well. I have witnessed the power of taking a single minute and it reveals just how rare moments of quiet reflection have become.
Ask people about their day, how they are doing, and mean it. This practice only takes a few minutes, but it completely changes the course and tone of the interaction. It creates space for open dialogue and oftentimes results in learning more about the person you are talking to. Actively listening to a person, with focused attention and sincere interest, goes a long way.
Take the opportunity to recognize and amplify the contributions of those around you. This practice builds trust and shows that you are engaged, invested in the success of others and tuned in. People are pleasantly surprised when they know that their hard work is impactful and celebrated.
Ask for feedback and be prepared for what you hear. Any skill you expect to strengthen requires evaluation. The only way to know how others receive and perceive you is to ask those with whom you engage. Use that feedback to act and continue your progress or improve if necessary. Listen to receive, not to react or you will prevent others from providing honest feedback. This delays growth and progress. It also creates a communication barrier.
Leave people better than you find them. Remember that every person you encounter is most importantly, a human first. They bring multiple experiences to each encounter. Find ways to connect through your common humanity and look for points of alignment to improve engagement. People change by interacting with you and experiencing you. You get to decide if that change will be positive or not. Choose good energy and share it.
Each of us has a finite amount of time on this planet. One of the greatest gifts of that existence is human connection. I challenge you to be more intentional in your interactions. Do not view the people around you, see them. Do not hear the people around you, listen to them. Do not just meet the people around you, be open to sharing a memorable and meaningful experience.